tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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