Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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