So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
