"it" just moved
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize