That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
