ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is Oprah even human
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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