I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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