oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
