I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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