they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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