There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
