tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
