I'm going to jail i love you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
