i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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