Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize