I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i already hear my dad disowning me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
