I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
