haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
