imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
