your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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