so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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