just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
