Can Purell be used as lube?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
