another moral hangover. fuck.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
