i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
