As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
