I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
