no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize