I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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