Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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