I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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