i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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