did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
