My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
