my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
