we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
