But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
