Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
my liver is dry heaving
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
