Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
