singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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