Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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