I love black thongs
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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