if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
