Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize