You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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