She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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