How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
