this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
