Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
