omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize