You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
