his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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