Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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