i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
