Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
