i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
