Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
