hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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