I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
