Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
