oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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