i just wanna soil my oats bro
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
