bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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