So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
