I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Are we still banned from the library?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize