so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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