I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
