ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
