I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
