lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
