I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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