yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
