Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
