one word: firstdatebathroomanal
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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