I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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