Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
