One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm passing your future prison.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
