Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
